well here we are
I found out I’m that “totally fine because it doesn’t feel real—up until the last minute when it hits and I break down,” kinda mourner.
I don’t know what to do with this blog. I’m still feeling out if I’m actually going to use it. I respect everyone moving back to the old internet after cohost, but the truth is it’s just not the same. A blog-like social media site still had unique features compared to actual blogs. Without an easy way for people to search, discover, like, share, or comment, blogging really feels like shouting into the void. I don’t know if it’s worth it, honestly. If it won’t just feel like a waste of time and energy, something that feels lonely. Yeah, really struggling with how much smaller my world feels today. And lonelier. Ah.
I’m trying to retrain my compulsion to check cohost. When I reach for my phone, blip through my discords and see I have no new messages, go to the browser and—don’t open cohost. I want to read more, if I’m going to stare at my phone and scroll. I only have ttrpg pdfs on my phone right now though… I skimmed through most of Troika this morning… so that’s a little productive. I’d like to make a game that size. Smaller, if I can get away with it.
Ah. Well.